As an AudHD adult, I’ve had to allow myself to let go of and walk away from people who pathologize my emotional responses to genuine harm.
Lately I’ve been thinking how funny it is that so many people will make accomodations for their reactive dogs, saying something like “oh, they were abused before we rescued them”. And then turn around and abuse an autistic person by insisting we act like them, not have meltdowns, and ignore the harm done to us, and also never be willing to leave us alone to self regulate.
Like, Sharon you have amazing boundaries and understanding when it comes to your FUCKING DOG. Bye girl.
Exactly that : I didn't understood nor had the languagetto name my emotions, and other people's language being so dismissive didn't help...... And so began masking......
Thank you for this. I was forced to mask going while also being pretty constantly traumatized. It (well and some bioweapons/ “mild viruses”) destroyed my health in such a serious way, and drove a lot of suicidality.
Interestingly the cognitive strain of long covid made it impossible to mask, for the first time in my life.
And I physically almost didn’t survive long covid, but the hardest part was all the interpersonal upheaval that happened alongside the most terrifying moments in my health.
Some people are angry with me and I still genuinely don’t know why. They didn’t believe the cognitive impact and said stuff like “you know why”
And I’m glad on some level I stopped masking. I feel more like myself. There is a lot of beauty in that.
And yes I lost a lot of people. But I also found ones who accept my neurodiversity.
Thank you again for writing this, has me lots to think about
But I can't just tell myself to do anything and be done with it. There are always big emotions involved. That does feel like big flaw. I can name some of the emotions but that does not help, often only waiting does. Sometimes for days, full of executive dysfunction.
(Writing since I read here that we should feel free to complain)
God this is so relatable. And then of course people label it as immature and call it a temper tantrum.
BTW I just started my own autism Substack. I’m in the process of revising and moving blog posts from Blogger to here. Check it out and, if you like it, subscribe and share!
As an AudHD adult, I’ve had to allow myself to let go of and walk away from people who pathologize my emotional responses to genuine harm.
Lately I’ve been thinking how funny it is that so many people will make accomodations for their reactive dogs, saying something like “oh, they were abused before we rescued them”. And then turn around and abuse an autistic person by insisting we act like them, not have meltdowns, and ignore the harm done to us, and also never be willing to leave us alone to self regulate.
Like, Sharon you have amazing boundaries and understanding when it comes to your FUCKING DOG. Bye girl.
You made my day 😂
lol, right? like maybe if we say "sorry for being so emotional, I'm a rescue dog" they'll get it?
so exact
Based on my experience, I concur that the suppression of natural responses, especially emotional ones is a direct pipeline to burnout! Great article!
This is precise and it landed. The ex conversations especially: I've had every one of them. I'm in the intense-emotional-connection camp too.
Exactly that : I didn't understood nor had the languagetto name my emotions, and other people's language being so dismissive didn't help...... And so began masking......
Thank you for this. I was forced to mask going while also being pretty constantly traumatized. It (well and some bioweapons/ “mild viruses”) destroyed my health in such a serious way, and drove a lot of suicidality.
Interestingly the cognitive strain of long covid made it impossible to mask, for the first time in my life.
And I physically almost didn’t survive long covid, but the hardest part was all the interpersonal upheaval that happened alongside the most terrifying moments in my health.
Some people are angry with me and I still genuinely don’t know why. They didn’t believe the cognitive impact and said stuff like “you know why”
And I’m glad on some level I stopped masking. I feel more like myself. There is a lot of beauty in that.
And yes I lost a lot of people. But I also found ones who accept my neurodiversity.
Thank you again for writing this, has me lots to think about
But I can't just tell myself to do anything and be done with it. There are always big emotions involved. That does feel like big flaw. I can name some of the emotions but that does not help, often only waiting does. Sometimes for days, full of executive dysfunction.
(Writing since I read here that we should feel free to complain)
God this is so relatable. And then of course people label it as immature and call it a temper tantrum.
BTW I just started my own autism Substack. I’m in the process of revising and moving blog posts from Blogger to here. Check it out and, if you like it, subscribe and share!